|Toastmasters...the first speech
||[Apr. 4th, 2006|08:44 am]
Yes.....I am a geek I belong to a grown-up speech club.
Today is my first speech, and I'm nervous as h#ll!!
Here is the outline for my Toastmasters #1 Ice Breaker Speech!
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the jury room in the case of Traci vs. Cool.
We will be briefly going over the evidence and then making our own verdict.
At first glance, the defendant appears to lead a normal and somewhat cool life. She is married to her High school sweetheart. They even purchased their first home a year ago…very cool. She even claims to have two sons. But I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do THESE look like sons?
I present Exhibit A: Jackson and Casper…common house cats!
Secondly, she claims to enjoy reading. A normal, if not somewhat nerdy pastime…until you look a bit closer. Exhibits B and C: What is this? Children’s Books and Harry Potter paraphernalia? I have no doubt that the defendant would be able to explain the rules of quiddich and an explanation of why House Elves were discriminated against and removed from the last film. Definitely not a conversation that would end you up being interviewed by Cool People Magazine.
And we have heard that Mrs. Matson enjoys sewing. Not too uncommon a hobby. And her specialty and passion: renaissance costuming. But she doesn’t tell most people that she leads a secret life.
Exhibit D: A life shrouded in mystery and confusion. She even uses an alias…as if anyone could take the name Fiona Ravendale seriously. She claims to be a baroness in some historical fantasy game. I say she is using this clever guise to hide a deeply uncool lifestyle.
Since we are talking about aliases, the defendant has used more than thirty over her lifetime.
Exhibits E-J: Images of Traci in various plays/musicals “Aliases such as Lady Mc Beth, Mina Harker and what is this...she has sunk so low to even impersonate a nun?! Sure, theatre sounds fun and all, but it definitely detracts from the cool factor.
I ask you ladies and gentlemen of the jury, to decide the fate of the defendant Traci Matson.
Those who vote in favor of the defendant’s coolness will raise their hands and say aye, releasing this woman back into society.
Those who vote against her coolness, will raise their hands and say “nay”, therefore remanding the defendant into the Easton Towne Center Corrections Facility for the Criminally Unhip for a period of no less than 12 months.
Remember, her fate, and her reputation lie in the balance.
Those who feel Traci is still cool despite the damning evidence, vote aye:
Those who feel she is tragically uncool, vote nay.